I like computer games. I like a lot of games. So much that it’s becoming almost like an addiction. Not the one that makes me lie to people and forces me to make morally despicable choices just to satisfy the Beast, but the kind that stops me from being a better version of myself.
Tell me you don’t recognize the situation; I got some stuff I should do, doesn’t matter if it’s important or just a little thing. I want to do it, and doing it would give me a sense of achievement. If I did it I wouldn’t have it hanging over my head. But somehow I end up putting it off and not having it done by the time I end up going to bed, which these days end up being much later than it should be. Especially considering I got two small kids to take care of.
Why is this? Games. Lots and lots of games. It’s so easy when I settle in front of the computer, which is around 8 PM, when the kids are sleeping. I feel my energy ebbing out, knowing I could be doing things with my time now, that I can’t do during the day, if only I could muster the willpower … And then it’s just sitting there. That little icon that promises a few minutes of fun. It starts off so innocent and BAM, the evening has passed. The wife and I have an understanding. She likes watching TV, I like my computer games. And we go to bed at the same time. Well used to anyways.

So why is this? Because I’m soft. Because I’ve put myself in a vicious loop where I don’t get enough sleep since I’m up playing games, and I play games since I’m too tired to do anything else. But I know I’m able to change this. I just need to take the first step… And this is it. So tomorrow evening I’ll refrain from clicking that little time consuming icon. If I can’t muster the energy to get the important things done first, then just shut the computer down and go to bed, or read a book, or spend time with my significant other.
So tomorrow I’ll let the Beast sleep.
And who knows, I may even get something done …